Thursday, December 16, 2010

New Godzilla Comic... News

The new comic's called Godzilla: Monster World and it's lookin' mighty fine. (I can't wait to make someone buy it for me =D) :
http://www.idwpublishing.com/news/article/1539/


UPDATE - Here's a pic that was released recently:

Everyone looks badass... (especially Ghidorah, who looks freaking demonic).

Friday, December 10, 2010

New Blog Post

You happy now, mom?!
Huh?
Huh?!
HUH?!












But anyway, I may possibly post some actual relevant stuff on here soon. Cheers!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sonic Colors Manga [Translation] Part 1

Apparently, there's a manga adaption of Sonic Colors. Yayz!
Thankfully, someone translated the first few pages for us, so we don't have to brush up on our Japanese...
NOTE: THESE ARE READ FROM LEFT-TO-RIGHT























Credit goes to:
MarcelloF, Core, and R@qH1eL from The Sonic Stadium.












Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Godzilla 2012 News

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm52Zlk_6vU

According to the Q&A with this guy, the Godzilla reboot (yes, it's a reboot, of course), Godzilla is going to be CGI (of course), and... Godzilla's going to fight another monster.

Nice.

Nice.

WA

Waluigi.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Same name, same game?

Not quite. This will be the first of many posts about games that may have the same title; but an entirely different experience (or even experiences, as this post will show) on a different console(s).
We'll start off with Rayman Raving Rabbids. Most people that know about this think of the party game for the Wii (as well as other home consoles). Well, that's not the case for all of them.

Version #1: Wii, PS2, Xbox 360, PC



We'll start off with the most popular version, the party game that everyone knows of. It was pretty much made for the Wii, and ported to the other systems. While the PS2 one was pretty much a straight port (except without motion controls), the Xbox 360 one had improved graphics and the minigames were slightly altered, and the PC version was glitchy practically to the point of being unplayable (seriously, Ubisoft has gotten a lot of complaints).


Version #2: GameBoy Advance


Unlike the console versions, this a 2D platformer that's more in-tune with the 2D Rayman games. In this game, the Rabbids are far more menacing (if it wasn't for their signature screams, you probably wouldn't even recognize them) and classic Rayman characters appear, such as Murphy and Ly. Also, while the costumes in the console versions were simply goofy outfits for Rayman to wear, the costumes give him [strange] powers in this game. For example, the Elvis costume lets him whack enemies with a guitar, while the Goth costume lets him spit bubble gum, etc. It's all good fun.

Version #3: DS
Like the GBA version, this game is mainly a 2D platformer... but with a lot of twists (and a plot that makes no sense). For example, the Rabbids are... at least semi-idiotic now (and they have their normal designs) and the game doesn't play exactly the same as other 2D Rayman games. Also, like the previous version, costumes give you powers, except these powers actually make more sense (they let you control elements).
Ex. The Granny costume gives you the power of the Earth, letting you push boulders and the like, while the Punk costume gives you the power of fire, which lets you burn enemies, among other things.
You'll have to use every power in your arsenal whenver you beat a level; when you beat a level, you end up in a Yoshi Touch-and-Go-esque stage, where Rayman has unlimited time to wear costumes (he can only wear costumes in these segments) and has to switch between costumes in order to get past obstacles... by the way, did I mention that you control these exclusively using the Touch-Screen? Speaking of the Touch-Screen, you also use them to play (forced) mini-games right after the segments are done. Yessss, there are minigames in this version too.
Stay tuned next time, for... Sonic Unleashed!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Games I'm Looking Forward To (Curse you, E3)

Ubisoft:
Raving Rabbids Travel in Time [Wii] -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DxCetvmGG4
This is the first game that I saw at E3 that peeked my interest. Of course, I love the Rabbids, and time travelling is certainly something new for them... I'm hoping that this game will be similar to Rabbids Go Home.

Rayman Origins [360, PS3, iPad] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvhwWXF-LfU
Looks like Rayman's finally getting separated from the Rabbids... and in a 2D game to boot! The fact that the trailer is funny helps too.

Sega:
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 [Wii, 360, PS3, iPhone] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1icy7O1alXk
Must I say anything?

Sonic Colors [Wii, DS] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anLlI0M9xkw
I'm anticipating both versions (especially the Wii version). The DS one is pretty much another Sonic Rush, while the Wii version is practically like the Day stages from Sonic Unleashed, but without the Werehog. Thank you, Sega!

Warner Bros.:
Batman Arkham Asylum 2 [360, PS3] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nm99CGKLZU
I don't have much to say here. But the first one was good, so this one should be too. Sooo... yeah.

Disney Interactive:
Epic Mickey [Wii] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAhGkWd8bqo
It's a loving tribute to Mickey, as well as many obscure and beloved Disney characters. Not only that, but it looks like a really fun game to boot.

Sony:
Sly Cooper Collection [PS3] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jiMBnzi0P4
I'm a little skeptical about this one, seeing as I already have the first two... but if it's going to be cheap, then why not?

Heroes on the Move [PS3 {PlayStation Move}] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PI9ShG-ZTY
A crossover of three of Sony's greatest franchises - Jak and Daxter, Ratchet & Clank, and Sly Cooper. What more could you ask for?

Nintendo (Saving the Best for Last):
Kid Icarus Uprising [3DS] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7detDcmMKY
I liked the first one; and these graphics look like they could be on the Wii... and it's on a portable system!

Paper Mario 3DS [3DS (duh)] - http://e3.nintendo.com/3ds/
This wasn't actually announced for E3, but it's on the E3 website. So I figure that it counts. lol

Metroid: Other M [Wii] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWuYpTh-foM
It looks really f*cking cool.

Kirby's Epic Yarn [Wii] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK4gKc9OuTk
It's an... interesting 2D Kirby game with a unique art style, as well as a new style of gameplay that makes it unique from other Kirby games, instead of being more of the same.

Donkey Kong Country Returns [Wii] - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPc5sOEKqA0
As the first Donkey Kong Country game in 14 years (and an awesome-looking one at that), this has a high priority on my list.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Top 10 Disney Villans

Here, we move on to what are (in my opinion) some of the greatest Disney villans. Unlike the previous list, however, this one mostly consists of classic characters. Enjoy!
10. Pete










First Appearance:
Alice Solves the Puzzle (1925)
Voiced by:
Billy Bletcher (1933-1960)
John McLeish (1942)
Will Ryan (1983, 1987)
Arthur Burghardt (1990)
Jim Cummings (1991-Present)
Description:
Ever since 1925, he's been torturing just about every character imaginable, such as Alice (not to be confused with the Alice from "Alice in Wonderland), Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, and Mickey Mouse, as well as various others. He also went through many occupations, as well as species changes, before finally becoming a cat in Mickey's 2nd short, "The Galloping Gauncho".
9. Cruella de Vil









First Appearance:
One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)
Voiced by:
Betty Lou Gerson
Description:
She's PETA's worst nightmare. She wants to skin all 101 dalmations ALIVE, just so she can get a new furcoat... oh yeah, did I mention that she's insane too?
8. Jafar








First Appearance:
Aladdin (1992)
Voiced by:
Johnathan Freeman
Description:
He's an evil sorceror/advisor who with the help of his Parrot, Iago, attempts to retrieve the magic lamp and use the Genie in order to rule the fictional city of Agrabah... and he'll use ANY underhanded scheme to do it too.
7. Gaston









First Appearance:
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Voiced by:
Richard White
Description:
This is an interesting one. He's wasn't a bonafide villan to start out with. At first, he was just an egotistical jerk, that was used getting everything he wants and was admired by everyone... everyone except for Belle, that is. Afterwards, this pretty much drove him to madness and he led a mob through the forest, in order to kill the Beast (although unfortunately for him, the reverse ended up happening).
6. Hades












First Appearance:
Hercules (1997)
Voiced by:
James Woods
Description:
The ruler of the underworld himself, he's pretty much Satan and the Grim Reaper combined. Not at all happy with his position, he later sends his [useless] lackies, Pain and Panic to kill an infant Hercules (which fails), as well as release all of the Titans in an attempt to overthrow the Gods and take over the world.
5. Ursula









First Appearance:
The Little Mermaid (1989)
Voiced by:
Pat Carroll
Description:
An ugly seawitch/octopus-thing, she used to live in Atlantica's palace... until she was banished for all of eternity, that is. She apparently got a little pissed about that. How was King Triton supposed to know that Ursula would enslave him, grow 50 ft. tall, and try to kill his daughter? Live and learn, I guess.
4. Captain Hook









First Appearance:
Peter Pan (1953)
Voiced by:
Hans Conried
Description:
Most likely the wimpiest villan ever, he is almost completely incapable of his job... which makes him so damn funny.
3. Maleficent








First Appearance:
Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Voiced by:
Eleanor Audley
Description:
Man, don't ever piss THIS chick off. She attempted to kill an innocent princess, and even turned into a giant dragon, just because she didn't get invited to a party. Sheesh...
2. Evil Stepmothers










First Appearances:
Wicked Queen - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
Lady Tremaine - Cinderella (1950)
Voiced by:
Lucille La Verne (Queen)
Eleanor Audley (Tremaine)
Description:
They are both combined into one category, because they're both just f**king bitches. But admittebly, the Queen is much MUCH worse. Infact, in the very first version of the original fairy tale, the Queen was Snow White's MOM. Yikes. But even the authors (the Brothers' Grimm) decided that it was too disturbing.
1. Yzma







First Appearance:
The Emperor's New Groove (2001)
Voiced by:
Eartha Kitt
Description:
Most likely the funniest villaness ever made, nothing more, nothing less.
Just this part alone should convince you:

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Top 10 Disney Sidekicks










In this entry, we'll take a break from movie reviews and move on to Disney's most comical sidekicks.
This was a hard list... not so much on how to choose the characters, but in what class they're in, because they're all so great.
10. Lumiere
First Appearance:
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Voiced by:
Jerry Orbach
Description:
He's a suave, smooth guy who doesn't play by the rules. He also has the distinction of being the only character with a French accent, despite the fact that the movie takes place in France.
9. Phil






First Appearance:
Hercules (1997)
Voiced by:
Danny DeVito
Description:
Just as you'd expect from Danny DeVito, he's a wise-talking S.O.B., with an Italian accent to boot.


8. Sebastian


First Appearance:
The Little Mermaid (1989)
Voiced by:
Samuel E. Wright
Description:
As you'd expect from the official court composer of Atlantica, he is an awesome singer. He also has a Jamaican accent... despite the fact that the series takes place in England.
7. Mushu






First Appearance:
Mulan (1998)

Voiced by:
Eddie Murphy
Description:
A smooth-talking (yet not entirely useful) Chinese dragon. I guess the fact that he has an African American accent in Feudal China is excusable, seeing as he's a supernatural force.

6. Kronk











First Appearance:
The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Voiced by:
Patrick Warburton
Description:
His look says it all. He is DUMB.AS.A.BRICK. Still gotta love the guy, though.
5. Donald Duck











First Appearance:
The Wise Little Hen (1934)
Voiced by:
Clarence Nash (1934-1985)
Tony Anselmo (1985-Current)
Description:
Who the hell DOESN'T know who Donald Duck is?

4. Iago








First Appearance:
Aladdin (1992)
Voiced by:
Gilbert Gottfried
Description:
The semi-reluctant, constantly complaining sidekick of Jafar; he later becomes another protagonist.

3. Timon & Pumbaa








First Appearance:
The Lion King (1994)
Voiced by:
Nathan Lane (Timon)
Ernie Sabella (Pumbaa)
Description:
So awesome, that they merged together on one number.

2. Ray










First Appearance:
The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Voiced by:
Jim Cummings
Description:
Probably the funniest depiction of a hick EVER (study this, King of the Hill writers). Too bad they had to freaking *INSERT SPOILER HERE* at the end of the movie.
1. Genie







First Appearance:
Aladdin (1992)
Voiced by:
Robin Williams [1st and 3rd movies]
Dan Castellaneta (aka: Homer Simpson) [Everything Else]

Description:
After much hard decisions, the Genie ended up being at the top of the list, due to his madcap nature and his magical 4th wall-breaking abilities (the pop culture refs help too).

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #8 - Gamera vs. Barugon


Honestly, this is much more Barugon's movie than Gamera's (it seems that they wrote themselves in a corner and couldn't find out a way to get rid of Barugon, so they shoe-horned Gamera in to kill him), but nonetheless, it still has Gamera in it, so it's considered to be a Gamera movie. But I digress, let's get on with the plot:
Generally, Gamera's still in a rocket... but it gets by a meteorite, which instantly destroys it, thus freeing Gamera. He flies back to the Earth and pissed as ever, starts destroying Osaka... but that's not important! Meanwhile, as we go through many subplots, there seems to be some kind of gem thingy (which is really a freaky-ass egg) that somehow wakes up Barugon (who certainly isn't confused with Godzilla's Baragon). And what do ya' know, someone ends up picking it up. Whoops. Barugon's powers are the ability to stretch his tongue out very far (it can also spray a mist that can freeze things) and shoot a rainbow out of his back ("Look, a Skittles commercial!"). Sounds pretty stupid, huh? But believe it or not, he's actually more intimidating than most of Gamera's other opponents. But back to business, Barugon arrives in Osaka and ends up freezing Gamera with his tongue, thus disposing of him for most of the movie. As Barugon wreaks havoc, the human populace attempt several tactics to get rid of Barugon. They all involve luring him into the water, however, since he can easily drown. They end up using both his egg and a diamond (seeing as he likes shiny things) to lure him into the ocean, but neither plan works. Eventually, though, Gamera ends up thawing out of the ice and after a brief battle, ends up holding Barugon down in the water, drowning him. Gamera then flies away... and then the humans don't attack the very monster that started destroying Osaka first and damn near obliterated Tokyo a year prior, despite the fact that he's perfectly vulnerable. Man, the Japanese army is USELESS. Get some more Americans down there.
SCORE:
3.2/5.0

Monday, April 19, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #7 - Gamera the Invincible

Seeing as I'm still somewhat frustrated at the last Kaiju Reviews effort, I'm taking a tiny break from Godzilla. In celebration of his upcoming DVD releases by Shout Factory, I'll move on to Godzilla's fiercest competitor:
GAMERA! As you can probably tell from the picture, Gamera's a giant turtle... what you probably can't tell is that he's a giant flying, fire-breathing turtle... yes, I meant it when I said "flying". If the flying part is any evidence to you, the older films are gigantic cheese-fests... although this one is definately one of the more serious ones out of the bunch (which isn't saying much). But before I start rambling, let's get on with the plot!
To start off, we have Japanese people in the Artic conducting tests... 'kay. But all of a sudden, they blast an icecap with an atomic bomb, freeing Gamera from his icy tomb. Unfortunately, he's really pissed off. As such, he destroys a Japanese research ship and heads towards Japan to wreak havoc (what has Japan ever done to him, anyway?!); but in an attempt to stop him, the Americans use explosives to knock Gamera onto his back, appearing to leave him helpless just like any other turtle... unfortunately, though, this isn't the case, seeing as he just flies away to Japan. Way to go, shitheads. In a semi-related story, a boy named Kenny had to give up his pet turtle, Tibby (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFN7WmmBc8k) because, um... he was getting too big, I guess... okay, maybe his mom's just a bitch. Meanwhile, Kenny is nearly crushed by a Lighthouse, but is saved by... Gamera? As we later find out, this is either foreshadowing at its best, or it's a complete fluke, because Gamera later starts to go on a rampage throughout the city of Tokyo (sound familiar, anyone?), possibly causing thousands of innocent people to die. Hell, he even deliberately sets many of the buildings on fire! Despite this, though, Kenny still cares for Gamera... more than a city with his own people being killed.
Kenny: A Perfect Role-Model for Everyone! :D
Anyhow, as Gamera is satisfied with the destruction that he made, he retreats. But thankfully, the government actually finds a way to dispose of Gamera, with the helpful guidence of... KENNY?! Oh dear, this will not go well. But somehow... it does. Awhile later, Gamera goes back to smash some more buildings, only to end up finding himself enclosed in a rocket enroute to Mars. Apparently, giant fire-breathing turtles can breathe in space, so he'll be just fine... but will he get out of that rocket somehow?! {To answer my own question: Yeah, he will.}
3.5/5.0: Enjoyable

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Movie Mania #1 - Clash of the Titans [2010]


Sorry, no Kaiju Reviews today (I nearly finished a really long one and it deleted itself for no apparent reason, which really pissed me off). But this one still has a giant monster in it! That's good, right?







{WARNING: PLOT MAY CONTAIN EXTRA STUPIDITY}:

I won't try to reveal TOO much, for people who haven't seen it yet. Generally, Zeus has SECKS with Acrisius' wife, Danae, which makes her later give birth to a son and main protagonist, Perceus. Acrisius gets pissed, shutting his wife and the baby into a coffin and dumping them into the water. God, what a jerk. Perceus is then saved and many years later, he is finally all grown up... but unfortunately, the gods get pissed and Hades unleashed THE KRAKEN! He's one of the coolest monsters ever... even though he looks like a green Orga with tentacles in this movie:
















Similar, ain't it?
Anyhow, Perceus goes on an epic quest with his trusty black pegasus (and somewhat useless allies), defeating creatures such as a giant Scorpion and even Medusa, before having a final showdown with Hades... but most importantly, THE KRAKEN! Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh...
Er... anyway, yeah, this movie was pretty good.
SCORE:
7.5/10: Enjoyable









Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #6 - Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

Who could Godzilla's new mysterious foe be?!
He's probably the most Evil,
Menacing,
Vicious,
Diabolical,
Strong,
Indestructible,
Ugly--




... Oh, alright, it's King Ghidorah again.

Once upon a time, in the unfortunate land known as Tokyo, Japan, aliens (known as the Xiliens) arrive. It turns out that when Godzilla & Friends drove King Ghidorah back into space, he ended up flying to THEIR planet (Planet X). Generally, they want to borrow Godzilla and Rodan to defeat King Ghidorah (Mothra's in her cocoon at this moment) and in exchange, they'll give us a cure for all known diseases. Freakin' sweet! Naturally, they accept the offer, and the Xiliens ship off Godzilla and Rodan (who's also in the ocean... for... some reason...) to Planet X, to do battle with Ghidorah. Even without Mothra, Godzilla and Rodan quickly defeat Ghidorah with their combined efforts. After that, Godzilla performs the best victory dance ever (you'll have to see it to believe it):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMxrXMjPMcc
A happy moment indeed. But happiness does not remain for too long... it turns out that all along, this was a ruse by the Xiliens to take over the Earth (But then again, who DIDN'T see that coming?), because they don't have any water. It turns out that shortly after King Ghidorah had arrived on Planet X, they took control of him, dubbing him Monster 00 (which explains the title). Now that Godzilla and Rodan are on their turf, they put them under their control as well (with the Xiliens referring to them as Monster 01 and Monster 02, respectively, due to their naming system consisting entirely of numbers). As such, they unleash Godzilla, Rodan, and King Ghidorah to wreak havoc on the Earth. Geez... if they really need water THAT bad, couldn't they just borrow some from us? Well, anyhow, the monsters start their rampage on the cities of Japan (making wonder how there's actually anything left to destroy). All seems lost... and seeing as Mothra won't be coming out any time soon, Nick Adams saves the day! He and his friend... some-other-guy destroy the source that's taking control of the monsters, as well the Xiliens' spaceship. Planet X then decides to withdraw its invasion of Earth, as Godzilla and Rodan kicks King Ghidorah's ass again. King Ghidorah might as well be called "Puss Ghidorah" by now, because this is the THIRD time that he's retreated into space. Man...

SCORE:
3.2/5.0

Monday, April 12, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #5 - Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster


Here's another one, folks! And by the way, this film marks several milestones in the Godzilla series:
1. It is the only Godzilla film to be released in the same year as another one, Mothra vs. Godzilla (aka: Godzilla vs. The Thing (aka: Whatever they had going on in Germany)).
2. This is the first Godzilla movie to feature more than two monsters fighting at one time (it has 4).
3. It is the first of many Godzilla films where he battles a monster from outer space (particularly the titular monster, King Ghidorah).
4. Last, but most definitely not least, it is the first movie to feature Godzilla... as a hero (more on that later).
Now, let's get on with the plot! We're in for a wild ride here...
okay, a princess from... um... somewhere comes along and gets possessed by an Alien (Venus in Japan, Mars in the US). She then predicts that Godzilla (which is predictable by now) and Rodan (in a goofy-looking, almost Muppet-esque suit) will arise... and it comes true! They then have an epic battle to the death... and by the way, do you remember those two Mothra larvae that defeated Godzilla in the last movie? Well, the male one is dead (Or maybe not... http://tohokingdom.com/media/toons/toon_16.htm) and the female one is still only a larvae, living on the island. And what does she do about Godzilla and Rodan? ... Absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, as the Japanese government are crapping in their pants, wondering what the heck they're supposed to do, a meteor strikes the Earth (conveniently near Japan), and out comes... King Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Hydra--er... Monster! He then wreaks havoc on the Earth by flying around and... shooting lighting-bolts out of his mouth... yeahhhhhh... Anyhow, Mothra finally decides to get her lazyass off of that island, once she learns that King Ghidorah has arrived. As such, she travels a long journey towards Japan and meets up with Godzilla and Rodan, kindly breaking up the fight with them (and by kindly, I mean by spraying them both with silk). Once they both calm down, Mothra tries to convince them to join the fight against King Ghidorah... and both of them don't really want to. They both have somewhat of a vendetta against the humans (Godzilla claims that the only reason that he didn't like them was "unprevoked attacks", which means that this Godzilla was never a villan to begin with). Mothra then decides to fight Ghidorah alone. Amazed by her courage, Godzilla and Rodan end up allying themselves with Mothra after all, resulting in a somewhat unfair battle against Ghidorah (although 3-to-1 is nothing, compared to the battle in Destroy All Monsters...). With their combined efforts, the trio defeats Ghidorah, and like the puss he is, retreats back into outer-space, saving the entire Earth from destruction... although it won't be safe for long...
SCORE:
4.2/5.0

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #4 - Godzilla vs. The Thing





By god... In this movie, Godzilla fights a gigantic, tentacled monster so hideous and gruesome that it can't even be seen... or named, it is only known as: The Thing. It's undoubtebly the most hideous, largest, and toughest foe that Godzilla has ever faced in any of his 28 films... humankind quakes in its might and terror and... and...







...


Just kidding, it's only Mothra. Anyhow, at the beginning of the movie, it appears that Mothra (who as I mentioned earlier, is curiously referred to as "The Thing" in the American dub) is going to take center-stage. Any true Godzilla fan should know who Mothra is... however, if you don't, two certain singing fairies named the Shobjin (aka: The Peanuts zapped with a shrinking ray) are going to hammer it in for you. Basically, Mothra likes peace... and in order to enforce this peace she's gonna kick everyone's ass.
Nah, just joking. In reality, her egg had been stolen by some jerkoff and he's going to use it as an attraction to get more money (and quickly gets a dome made for it too). And if Mothra doesn't get her egg back soon, she's gonna kick everyone's ass... I'm serious this time. Elsewhere, Godzilla rises out of the ground and starts to attack from Japan. No matter what they do to him (giving him a more relentless and brutal assault then ever before), Godzilla remains completely unscathed, attacking Japan without any real interference. Even the US army comes in briefly, only to be killed by Godzilla. Looks like everyone is in deep shit now. As if nothing could possibly get worse, Godzilla heads towards Mothra's egg... obviously, Mothra does not approve of this. Godzilla defeats her pretty easily, but what did you expect? Would YOU have much energy after laying an egg that's nearly two times your size? Didn't think so. Anyhow, Godzilla wades to a distant island... which is populated by people. Crap. BUT HAVE NO FEAR! The Shobjin makes the egg hatch early... and two Mothra larvae come out! They both swim to the island and battle Godzilla, easily overcoming him... by wrapping him in silk. Once again, he falls into the ocean.
This is the 2nd movie that he's been defeated in, in a row, the 1st by a Gorilla, and the 2nd by caterpillars...
So much for being the "King of the Monsters".
4.3/5.0

Monday, March 29, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #3 - King Kong vs. Godzilla


Alrighty, pardners, it's finally time that I stopped foolin' around and expose you to the mightest monster mash of all mighty monster mashes:
KING KONG VS. GODZILLA!
"Now, how's a Gorilla supposed to defeat a mutated dinosaur that can breathe fire," you ask? ... Well you better shut the hell up, so I can tell you.
First of all, there's some weird guy with iron string, or something... as much as I don't really care about him, he's important. But after several minutes of human exposition, we finally get down to the good stuff, aka: People in an American submarine accidentally frees Godzilla from his icy prison. Whoops. We f**ked up. Meanwhile, as the Big G is wreaking his usual havoc, our two protagonists (only one of whom I mentioned) go to Faro Island, which is apparently populated by Asians that like to paint their skin Brown. As such, they brought another painted Asian guy as an interpereter. After much stereotyping, A GIANT OCOTOPUS ATTACKS! SWEET JESUS! Thankfully, King Kong (who is actually referred to as "King Kong" in this movie) conviniently arrives to save the day! After a brief battle involving much rock throwing, the Octopus retreats... Meanwhile, everyone suddenly realizes that there's a giant f**king ape in the village. As such, they drug Kong up with some Berry Juice and load him up on a boat enroute to Japan. Eventually, he goes apeshit (no pun intended) and they blow him the f**k up with some dynamite... apparently, King Kong doesn't take shit from anyone now, seeing as he swims away completely unscathed. Damn. Not long after, Kong has his first encounter with Godzilla... although all that really happens is that Godzilla uses his nuclear breath on King Kong several times, making him run away like a little pussy. Meanwhile, both fun and boring things ensue, as Godzilla destroys a train and Kong runs throughout the city, causing all sorts of crazyass crap to happen. Afterwards, he does his usual shtick (grabbing a random woman and climbing up a building) as the army once again gets him drugged with berry juice. They then airlift Kong to Mt. Fuji (using the steel rope from earlier) and drop him off, making Kong have his final epic battle of epicness with Godzilla... and Godzilla kicks his ass. After getting killed by rocks bashing his head, Kong is revived by lightning, which suddenly gives him electrical powers! Um... yay? During their climactic battle (and unlike the savage, animalistic fighting from the last film, this one is more like wrestling; Godzilla has apparently been studying Judo), an earthquake occurs, causing them both to plunge into the water. Godzilla never emerges and King Kong swims away, living to fight another day... particularly against a familiar-looking robot...
I still think Godzilla should've won, though. Why not drag Kong underwater and drown him? Godzilla can stay underwater as long as he wants! Oh well, I digress...
SCORE:
3.8/5.0

HOLY SHIT

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118017027.html?categoryid=13&cs=1
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=64648

GUH... GUH...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #2 - Godzilla Raids Again


Hello there, peepz! I'm picking up right where I left off last time, and I'm moving on to the sequel... and once again it's over the Japanese version (however, the US version is so shitty that I'll just have to discuss it later somehow). Unlike our previous movie... well, somewhat unlike our previous movie, this is pretty much just a quick cash-in, so this is pretty much like one of your typical Sci-Fi B-Movies (Although the style of the monster battles are a lot different than in later entries in the series). Generally, the plot tries to somewhat be like the first... except none of the characters are likable anymore (except for when I flip on the English dub and keep on rewinding to the part where that guy says "Banana Oil"), but I digress. Anyhow, let's get on to the plot:
Two guys (who I officially christen as "Fat-Ass" and "Bannana Oil-Guy") go to an island to do... god knows what, fishing I guess, when they suddenly see... GODZILLA! ... and he's fighting another monster (Anguirus, a giant anklyosaurus)! Exactly why they're fighting is anyone's guess. After a brief tussle, they both fall back into the water. When the government learns the news of another Godzilla, they don't go into a shitfit like last time. They're supposed to be in deep depression, but I honestly think that they all look a little bored (the actors were probably impatient for their paychecks). And oh yeah, remember when I mentioned how they would have pretty much no way to kill Godzilla now? That would probably explain their deep depression (although I'm still going with the paychecks thing). However, they [sort of] have a solution! As Godzilla is wading towards the city of Osaka, planes drop flares into the ocean, which lures Godzilla away from the shore (he hates bright lights, seeing as the Hydrogen Bomb awakened and mutated him). After a scene of Cops 'N Robbers which pretty much makes the movie stop dead for a few minutes (one highlight being the slowest car chase ever) the robbers' truck crashes into an industrial building, resulting in a huge explosion. The fire attracts both Godzilla and Angurius to the city, resulting in Godzilla's very first full-blown monster showdown. After a savage battle that goes on for several minutes Godzilla defeats Anguirus by biting his throat and lighting him on fire with his nuclear breath. Don't f*ck with Godzilla. After the battle, Godzilla is apparently pretty tuckered out to wreak more havoc (besides, most of the city was destroyed during the course of the battle anyway), he goes back into the ocean, swimming off to parts unknown.
After this, Fat-Ass, Banana Oil-Guy, and Annoying Woman all move to Hokkaido. During some sort of party inside a cruise boat, Godzilla attacks the boat. Banana Oil-Guy doesn't like this, so they send a search party for Godzilla. They find him on some icy island, filled with... ice. They try to drop bombs on him, but this obviously has no effect. Then Fat-Ass accidentally crashes into a mountain, killing himself. Idiot. Banana Oil-Guy grieves for a little while and then (after a brief and pointless scene where they refuel their jets), they go back to the island, where Godzilla is already half-buried in ice... why he didn't use his nuclear breath to melt the ice is beyond me. Banana Oil-Guy & Friends then finish the job, completely submerging Godzilla in ice. However they haven't gotten rid of him... at least for a few years, anyway.
SCORE:
2.8/5.0

Monday, March 22, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #1 - Godzilla


Time for a series of posts that I'll be updating regularly:
Kaiju Reviews (Reviews of Japanese giant-monster movies; and maybe ones from other countries as well)! First off, I'll start with the Godzilla series, seeing as it's my favorite. As such, I will begin with the first movie... no, not the heavily-edited American one (it even has a seperate article on Wikipedia!), the original Japanese one. This edition of the series focuses a lot more on story, so my love of wanton destruction has to take a little bit of a backseat for this one.
Anyway, I'll try to describe the story as best as I can. Keep in mind, this isn't for the weak-hearted; this is hardcore shit:
First of all, what I assume to be an oil tanker is cruisin' around the ocean, when they spot a bright light... and what's the most natural thing to do? Why, go towards it, of course! They investigate the source of the light and suddenly it explodes... or something, and they all end up getting radiation sickness. One even ends up getting stranded in the ocean and ends up floating to an island, which is conviniently where his home is. Meanwhile, a team of investigators show up, examining mysterious footprints on the island, which are filled to the brim with radioactivity. Later that night, Godzilla attacks (although he isn't seen yet), setting waste to the village. The next day, the villagers, armed with their pointiest spears, run up the hill... only to run right back down once they see what Godzilla actually is. The Japanese government is in a panic, once they realize that Godzilla is a dinosaur, awakened and possibly mutated by the Hydrogen Bomb that the US tested on the Bikini Atoll the year before (how they actually managed to figure that out is beyond me). They can't decide whether to keep it a secret or to tell everyone, which results in a huge arguement.
Of course, this proves something that we already know:
The government sucks ass.
Fortunately, the army decides for them and sends ships to kill the monster. Of course, they don't even leave a single mark on him, and he wastes them easily. This sends the government into an even BIGGER panic. And that isn't exactly a good thing either, seeing as Godzilla arrives in Tokyo the very next day. He annihalates the small area that he's in. And unlike most other Godzilla movies, this Godzilla actually directly and deliberately attacks people, such as biting a train (presumably crushing a lot of people) and then throwing it onto the ground. This ain't your daddy's Godzilla. After a brief attack (although it still killed a lot of people), he marches back into the ocean. One day later, the Government quickly builds a bunch of electrical towers, in an attempt to ward Godzilla off. That night Godzilla arrives, stepping through the towers... however, instead of making him go away, it just pisses him off. As such, he uses his nuclear breath for the very first time and melts the towers, as well as the various other obstacles that get in his way (The atomic breath would've been much more of a surprise if they didn't prominently display it on the movie posters... >.>). He then goes on a a rampage through Tokyo. Everyone is helpless, as Godzilla eventually destroys the entire city, going back into Tokyo Bay as if nothing even happened. What a badass. Later, one of Tokyo's smartest (and eccentric) scientists, Dr. Serizawa, has a weapon called the Oxygen Destroyer, which may be the only thing that can defeat Godzilla. After being involved in a love triangle and many inner conflicts, he goes into the ocean and uses it to destroy Godzilla, as well as himself, so the weapon can never be used against humanity... but that also means that when future Godzillas come along, there will be practically no way to kill them... except for possibly a monster battle or two.
SCORE:
4.5/5

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Woes of Marvin [1]


-Day One-
Life? Ugh... don't talk to me about life... and don't talk to me about me being a robot, which means I technically don't live at all. Also, don't remind me that I'm neither Paranoid nor an Android, because that just reminds me that I was created by incompetent beings.

You know about a site called YouTube?

Wretched, isn't it?

Organic life-forms, posting stuff that they didn't even make in the first place... it sickens me.

I also talked to Alan Rickman once.

I like him.
-End of Day One-

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Holy Crap


ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!
.... And check out these Twitter links too.
http://twitter.com/JhonenV - Jhonen Vasquez, the creator of Invader Zim (as well as Jhonny the Homicidal Maniac and Squee!)
http://twitter.com/RichardHorvitz - Richard Horvitz, the voice of Invader Zim himself (although you may also know him as a certain gold robot from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers...)

Party Like it's 1991!


If you happen to own a Nintendo DS, Sonic Classic Collection has arrived on shelves today. It allows you to play the first four Sonic games: Sonic the Hedgehogs 1, 2, & 3, and Sonic & Knuckles (as well as all of its lock-on games) on-the-go. Both Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles hasn't been on the portable market since the Sega Nomad came out, nearly two decades ago. It also has some bonus content to browse through, such as videos and artwork. It also allows Knuckles to adventure alongside Sonic for the very first time, in both Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles. If this doesn't make you drool, I don't know what will... like maybe a damn Mario collection for the DS. I'd buy that shit.