Monday, March 22, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #1 - Godzilla


Time for a series of posts that I'll be updating regularly:
Kaiju Reviews (Reviews of Japanese giant-monster movies; and maybe ones from other countries as well)! First off, I'll start with the Godzilla series, seeing as it's my favorite. As such, I will begin with the first movie... no, not the heavily-edited American one (it even has a seperate article on Wikipedia!), the original Japanese one. This edition of the series focuses a lot more on story, so my love of wanton destruction has to take a little bit of a backseat for this one.
Anyway, I'll try to describe the story as best as I can. Keep in mind, this isn't for the weak-hearted; this is hardcore shit:
First of all, what I assume to be an oil tanker is cruisin' around the ocean, when they spot a bright light... and what's the most natural thing to do? Why, go towards it, of course! They investigate the source of the light and suddenly it explodes... or something, and they all end up getting radiation sickness. One even ends up getting stranded in the ocean and ends up floating to an island, which is conviniently where his home is. Meanwhile, a team of investigators show up, examining mysterious footprints on the island, which are filled to the brim with radioactivity. Later that night, Godzilla attacks (although he isn't seen yet), setting waste to the village. The next day, the villagers, armed with their pointiest spears, run up the hill... only to run right back down once they see what Godzilla actually is. The Japanese government is in a panic, once they realize that Godzilla is a dinosaur, awakened and possibly mutated by the Hydrogen Bomb that the US tested on the Bikini Atoll the year before (how they actually managed to figure that out is beyond me). They can't decide whether to keep it a secret or to tell everyone, which results in a huge arguement.
Of course, this proves something that we already know:
The government sucks ass.
Fortunately, the army decides for them and sends ships to kill the monster. Of course, they don't even leave a single mark on him, and he wastes them easily. This sends the government into an even BIGGER panic. And that isn't exactly a good thing either, seeing as Godzilla arrives in Tokyo the very next day. He annihalates the small area that he's in. And unlike most other Godzilla movies, this Godzilla actually directly and deliberately attacks people, such as biting a train (presumably crushing a lot of people) and then throwing it onto the ground. This ain't your daddy's Godzilla. After a brief attack (although it still killed a lot of people), he marches back into the ocean. One day later, the Government quickly builds a bunch of electrical towers, in an attempt to ward Godzilla off. That night Godzilla arrives, stepping through the towers... however, instead of making him go away, it just pisses him off. As such, he uses his nuclear breath for the very first time and melts the towers, as well as the various other obstacles that get in his way (The atomic breath would've been much more of a surprise if they didn't prominently display it on the movie posters... >.>). He then goes on a a rampage through Tokyo. Everyone is helpless, as Godzilla eventually destroys the entire city, going back into Tokyo Bay as if nothing even happened. What a badass. Later, one of Tokyo's smartest (and eccentric) scientists, Dr. Serizawa, has a weapon called the Oxygen Destroyer, which may be the only thing that can defeat Godzilla. After being involved in a love triangle and many inner conflicts, he goes into the ocean and uses it to destroy Godzilla, as well as himself, so the weapon can never be used against humanity... but that also means that when future Godzillas come along, there will be practically no way to kill them... except for possibly a monster battle or two.
SCORE:
4.5/5

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