Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Kaiju Reviews #2 - Godzilla Raids Again

Hello there, peepz! I'm picking up right where I left off last time, and I'm moving on to the sequel... and once again it's over the Japanese version (however, the US version is so shitty that I'll just have to discuss it later somehow). Unlike our previous movie... well, somewhat unlike our previous movie, this is pretty much just a quick cash-in, so this is pretty much like one of your typical Sci-Fi B-Movies (Although the style of the monster battles are a lot different than in later entries in the series). Generally, the plot tries to somewhat be like the first... except none of the characters are likable anymore (except for when I flip on the English dub and keep on rewinding to the part where that guy says "Banana Oil"), but I digress. Anyhow, let's get on to the plot:
Two guys (who I officially christen as "Fat-Ass" and "Bannana Oil-Guy") go to an island to do... god knows what, fishing I guess, when they suddenly see... GODZILLA! ... and he's fighting another monster (Anguirus, a giant anklyosaurus)! Exactly why they're fighting is anyone's guess. After a brief tussle, they both fall back into the water. When the government learns the news of another Godzilla, they don't go into a shitfit like last time. They're supposed to be in deep depression, but I honestly think that they all look a little bored (the actors were probably impatient for their paychecks). And oh yeah, remember when I mentioned how they would have pretty much no way to kill Godzilla now? That would probably explain their deep depression (although I'm still going with the paychecks thing). However, they [sort of] have a solution! As Godzilla is wading towards the city of Osaka, planes drop flares into the ocean, which lures Godzilla away from the shore (he hates bright lights, seeing as the Hydrogen Bomb awakened and mutated him). After a scene of Cops 'N Robbers which pretty much makes the movie stop dead for a few minutes (one highlight being the slowest car chase ever) the robbers' truck crashes into an industrial building, resulting in a huge explosion. The fire attracts both Godzilla and Angurius to the city, resulting in Godzilla's very first full-blown monster showdown. After a savage battle that goes on for several minutes Godzilla defeats Anguirus by biting his throat and lighting him on fire with his nuclear breath. Don't f*ck with Godzilla. After the battle, Godzilla is apparently pretty tuckered out to wreak more havoc (besides, most of the city was destroyed during the course of the battle anyway), he goes back into the ocean, swimming off to parts unknown.
After this, Fat-Ass, Banana Oil-Guy, and Annoying Woman all move to Hokkaido. During some sort of party inside a cruise boat, Godzilla attacks the boat. Banana Oil-Guy doesn't like this, so they send a search party for Godzilla. They find him on some icy island, filled with... ice. They try to drop bombs on him, but this obviously has no effect. Then Fat-Ass accidentally crashes into a mountain, killing himself. Idiot. Banana Oil-Guy grieves for a little while and then (after a brief and pointless scene where they refuel their jets), they go back to the island, where Godzilla is already half-buried in ice... why he didn't use his nuclear breath to melt the ice is beyond me. Banana Oil-Guy & Friends then finish the job, completely submerging Godzilla in ice. However they haven't gotten rid of him... at least for a few years, anyway.

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