Monday, September 19, 2011

Kaiju Reviews #15 - Godzilla vs. Gigan

Time for yet another alien-centric movie! You're not getting tired of that yet, are you? I hope not, because there's still several more of these. Anyway, OUR STORY BEGINS... with a comic book artist. He's hired to do something for a new theme park that's being constructed, based off of the giant monsters and once it's completed, the owners will go to Monster Island and... destroy the real monsters... okay, shouldn't this at least a TAD bit suspicious?
1. Anything the humans tried have (more often than not) no effect whatsoever other than just pissing them off... and that's the army; scientists, even! So, how would these "amusement park owners" suddenly be able to kill all (let alone any) of them?
2. Why would everyone be okay with this? Sure, they often cost the city thousands of dollars, but they're good guys, who's going to save Japan when an evil monster suddenly comes strolling along?
So yeah, anyway, Mr. Comic Book Artist Guy manages to find some random tape player that was lying around and decides to play the tape for shiz and gigglez. When he does this, however, Godzilla and Anguirus manage to hear the tape from Monster Island... somehow... and it gives them the ability to talk... Um... okay...? Not much can really top Godzilla dancing and flying, so I guess I can go with this... Anyhow, Godzilla (being the lazy bastard he is) decides to send Anguirus to Tokyo to figure out what in the hell is going on. That doesn't seem to work out to well, as the JSDF blasts the hell out of Angy, making him go back with his tail between his legs. Meanwhile, Comic Book Artist Guy recruits some allies, who I shall hereby dub "Love Interest" and "Hippie-Dude". After a lot of snooping, our intrepid trio discovers that the themepark owners are infact ALIENS! What a shock! They are from the Nebula M-17 quadrant (maybe they know our good friend Ultraman?) and are actually Cockroaches... okay, what a shock! They also happen to hold control over our titular monster Gigan, as well as our ever-recurring antagonist, King Ghidorah! This bodes well for Japanese contractors, as the aliens end up having to send their monster menagerie down to Tokyo earlier than planned. As such, Gigan and Ghidorah happily oblige and spread carnage and mayhem throughout the strangely empty city (I guess everyone's so used to giant monster attacks that they evacuate before they even need to). Eventually, after the monsters destroy most of the city anyway, Godzilla and Anguirus arrive to save the day! ... Though they don't do too good of a job at first. Gigan beats the living hell out of our two heroes (which, if you can't already tell from his weapons, causes the first instances of bloodshed in the series), while Ghidorah kind of just watches and occasionally uses the power of stock footage. After about half an hour of getting his arse kicked, Godzilla ends up losing the strength to fight... at least until he smashes a tower resembling his likeness... which just so happens to be where the aliens are, as well as the devices that are controlling Gigan and King Ghidorah! So now they'll leave everyone alone, right? Erm... no such luck. Turns out that it didn't particularly matter whether they were controlled or not, because they're already evil anyway. Oh well. Though eventually, after MOAR battling, Gigan ends up flying back into space, leaving his friend in the dust... atleast until Godzilla and Anguirus stopped beating the crap out of him, anyway. Ofcourse, Ghidorah immediately takes this chance and follows Gigan back into the cold depths of space (though they must have gotten separated somewhere along the way...). Godzilla and Anguirus then celebrate their victory by heading off into the sunset with a weirdass Japanese song... just to make this movie even more weird, I guess.

The fact that almost all of Ghidorah's screen-time is made up of stock footage is kind of annoying and the set-up is... a bit long, but otherwise it's pretty good. And despite the prescense of giant cockroach aliens disguised as humans, this movie (along with the previous one) has a darker tone than alot of the previous movies... So, you would think that this is the start of a trend, right? UM... We'll see about that...

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