Monday, September 19, 2011

Kaiju Reviews #14 - Godzilla vs. Hedorah

After these last few movies, this one is an... improvement... and unlike Destroy All Monsters, this one actually takes place back during the time it was made (same goes for the movies made after this... GROOVY). But anyway, we start off with some giant tadpole-looking thing terrorizing anyone who is stupid enough to get near it. I guess there's more stupid people in Japan than I thought, because Hedorah ends up taking a lot of victims. As the movie goes on, though, it turns out he ISN'T a tadpole, as he has the ability to turn into different forms (the "tadpole" being one of them). His other forms are his standard one (on the poster, genius) and a flying form, which curiously looks like a UFO. Foreshadowing, anyone? ... Probably not, but I guess I should tell you about his origins anyway, since I'm blabbering on. From what I gather after watching the movie, Hedorah is some sort of extraterrestrial life form that somehow made its way to Earth and ended up getting mutated by pollution. As such, he feeds off of it (regularly strolling over to the nearest factory and inhaling some nice, nutritious smog). Hedorah can also cause/secrete pollution, but it's fatal to humans (it just seems to be an inconvenience to others, such as Godzilla... and kittens). Meanwhile though, after Hedorah makes several rounds of genocide, Godzilla arrives to save the day! ... And gets his ass handed to him. After Godzilla receives his royal smackdown, Hedorah ends up spraying his eye with sludge, which ends up partially blinding him for the rest of the movie (I still think that Godzilla should have taken advantage of this and wear an eyepatch). Sometime later, a bunch of people start to party hardy on Mt. Fuji. Though apparently, Hedorah didn't get an invite, as he came along to crash the party and tries to kill MOAR people, this time in a more powerful form. Thankfully for the partygoers, Godzilla arrives to save the day just in time and fights Hedorah once more. Unfortunately, Godzilla ends up losing again, but that's remedied as the people already retreated before the battle was over. Eventually, after some serious contemplation and surreal montages, the humans finally find a way to defeat Hedorah... by frying the hell out of him with electrodes! BOO-YAH. So, when they lure him to the completed electrode macine thingies... they don't work. CRAP. Thankfully, the King of the Monsters steps in once again, using his atomic breath to power the machines. This ends up sending Hedorah into a shit-fit and he flies away. But ofcourse, this doesn't phase Godzilla one bit, who just simply defies the laws of physics and flies after him LIKE A BOSS! After that show of silly badassery, Godzilla manages to catch Hedorah and hold him down, letting the machines fry him to death. He even just rips some of his guts out just because he f*cking feels like it. AWWWWWW YEAH... Oh yeah and there's a cliffhanger ending that says there's another Hedorah somewhere but Godzilla simply can't be bothered with that.


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