Monday, September 19, 2011

Kaiju Reviews #13 - Godzilla's Revenge

OH GOD, NOT THIS ONE... ANYTHING BUT THIS ONE! ... Oh well, I might as well get it over with...

Like the last movie, this one has a lot of monsters too! ... But that's just to fool people skimming the back of the DVD. Most of them only appear for a second or two... but even when some of them are more prominent, the majority of the monster scenes are just stock footage anyway. Yeah, that's right, this is pretty much just one big clip show, with a sub-plot involving a Kenny (see my Gamera review for info regarding the original Kenny). It starts out with the Kenny (Ichiro) getting his ass handed to him by some bullies, the leader of which is named Gabara. I bet you're wondering why I thought this important enough to share with you, eh? ... Well stop interrupting me for once, I'm getting there. Anyway, he wanders over to some guy's house and goes off to bed, soon drifting into dreamland... (No, not THAT Dreamland! ... Or this one.) Now, the movie introduces us to Monster Island... in a non-canonical film, but I'll roll with it. Generally the only difference between Monster Island and Monsterland is that Monster Island seems to have more monsters on it... and no way to keep them from getting off the island... yeah, good idea there, guys. Anyway, while in his dream, Ichiro soon meets Minilla, who now seems to be the after-product of watching WAY too much Barney the Dinosaur... or maybe drugs. It's hard to tell the difference. So, yeah, Minilla's newfound abilities in this dream include changing size at will (ya, RLY) and... the capability of speech. Yes, he can talk. So, after Ichiro and Minilla bullshit around for a little bit, they encounter stock footage of other monsters, including the Big G himself fighting various other creatures (Ebirah, Kamacuras, and Kumongoa). During all of this though, they eventually encounter a new (!) monster named... Gabara... you can see where this going, right? So, yeah, after various stuff happens in the real world that I don't particularly care about, Minilla fights Gabara several times until Godzilla finally decides to step in and kick some ass... only to find out that it wouldn't be quite as easy as he thought (Gabara has electrical powers, ya' see!).
After the lengthy battle, Minilla ends up using the power of deus ex machina to drive Gabara away once and for all, forever ending his reign of terror... which I'm assuming due to the fact that he never appears in any more movies. After these [strangely inter-connected] series of dreams, Ichiro uses the wisdom and experience gained from them and gets rid of the bullies once and for all... by beating the crap out of them. What a great moral!

This was made for very young children... so the score that I would most likely give it wouldn't be very fair... though I suppose you could just look at my scores for "Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster" and "Son of Godzilla", seeing as most of the stock footage came from those movies anyway. I'll admit that I did enjoy this when I was younger (around 9 or 10) when I didn't have these movies, so I guess it technically hit its mark. It gets a pass.

No comments:

Post a Comment