Kaiju Reviews #22 - Godzilla vs. Destoroyah [Written by skull902]

Back-back-back again, it is I, skull902.

Today's review is "Godzilla VS Destoroyah", the last Godzilla Heisei movie. Released originally to Japanese theatres in 1995, and to DVD in 2000 in the US.

So we start off with the knowledge that Infant Island has been destroyed. Then it cuts to Toky- Okinaw- Hiroshim- Nagoy- Hong Kong? Really? I bet the Chinese people's minds are blown. But yeah, Godzilla destroys Hong Kong but something is different. He's glowing red in some places and his atomic breath is orange. Some college kid did a thesis on Godzilla nobody believes in...besides the scientific community and the Japanese military (y'know, the people you'd least like to trust in a situation like this) and is hired to the G-Force (no, not the stupid guinea pig organization from that crappy film, but rather the branch of the military that's been fighting Godzilla throughout the second series) to do research. He meets up with our ol' psychic pal Miki (who is, unfortunately, losing her powers) who has been looking for Godzilla Jr. but can't find him. College Kid suggests he's dead, leading to awkwardness. Anyway, he does his research and finds that Godzilla is a nuclear (which he pronounces as "nucular" like a fucking retard) reactor and is close to blowing up. If he does (by reaching 1200 degrees Celcius), the Earth is destroyed. Holy shit.

Instead of firing at him, which would make his and the Earth's demise all that much quicker, they decide to freeze him to get the minimum result of his nuclear reaction. How, you ask? The SUPER. X. III!!! ...Yeah, I don't think I covered the Super X line of ships in this series. Basically, the Super X planes are pretty much the only thing the military has made (excluding Mechagodzilla from the 1993 and 2002 films, of course) that could stand a chance against Godzilla. They've all failed up to this point but have come pretty damn close to defeating him. Anyway, the SX3 fires freezey lasers at Godzilla and fire some "stay cold" pills in his mouth for good measure. You'd think this would be enough, right?

...Not even fucking close. Godzilla's temperature was put down but it's still rising, at an alarming rate. Meanwhile another attempt to stop all of this is being made by the scientists, who are re-creating the oxygen destroyer. The military doesn't like it, noting that there's a huge risk to Japan by activating such a device. Late at night, an aquarium worker sees his fish being reduced to bones as a result of an organism that was mutated by this new oxygen destroyer. They soon evolve and eventually are fighting against the police and the military (sporting vehicles which have really cool sounding sirens). Their weapons aren't enough though as the Destoroyah (as they're called) get stronger.

Godzilla Jr. (who is now almost fully grown, looking very similar to a healthy version of his father) then causes a bit of panic at a beach and makes his way to the destroyed island. Godzilla, who is looking for him (presumably to recommend him to go to a community college instead of a university as it's more affordable), follows along but there's a problem. Due to his freezing, Godzilla instead will melt down when he dies, causing his remains to melt through the Earth's layers, all the way to the core, once again putting the planet at risk. As a last-attempt measurement, Miki and another psychic girl are hired to direct Godzilla Jr. to Tokyo so that Godzilla and Destoroyah (who is currently in the area) can have a battle. Destoroyah, being made from the oxygen destroyer, would defeat and then destroy Godzilla, preventing a meltdown. Miki doesn't like the idea, but knows it's for the good of the planet and does so.

The plan is a success and Godzilla Jr. does a pretty good job fighting Destoroyah, knocking him into an electrical plant. The father and son reunite to discuss college plans, but Destoroyah (who has now evolved into it's final form) attacks. He grabs Junior and drops him from a high distance, seemingly killing him. Godzilla is pissed and does battle with the creature. The two cause each other extreme physical injuries and Godzilla causes Destoroyah to retreat. Godzilla gives his son some energy but all seems lost. Destoroyah then attacks again but Godzilla doesn't give up, blowing chunks off of him as he flies away. The SX3 is sent in to freeze Godzilla exactly when he reaches 1200 degrees, but destroys Destoroyah with a thermal shock from using the same weapons on him. Wow...the military actually won...in a Godzilla movie. Or hell, a kaiju movie in general. ...Surely this is the greatest day in Japanese history. They freeze Godzilla, preventing the end of the world. However, the radiation caused by Godzilla's meltdown renders Tokyo uninhabitable. The radiation and the energy given to him earlier makes Junior a fully-grown Godzilla, who roars as the movie closes to continue the legacy of his father.

Next time, ...shit gets real. Bad, that is.

This was a good film. No, not just good, great. This movie seems to have the biggest risk of any Godzilla film I've seen and it was a wonderful send-off to the King of the Monsters. However, some shots of the Super X III are re-used, forcing me to give the film a score of 0.5/5.0 ...Just kidding. Good storytelling, wonderful action, if you're a fan of Godzilla, this is a must-see.

Score: 4.5/5.0

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Kaiju Reviews #21 - Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II [Written by skull902]

Hello one and all, skull902 again for another Godzilla review.

Today we've got "Godzilla VS Mechagodzilla II", released in Japan in 1993 and in America in 1998. This one surprisingly was not released in a double-pack like the other Heisei films that TriStar and Sony tried desparately to distract us from- err, I mean tie-in with the 1998 American movie. Oh don't worry Matthew Broderick, I'm coming soon.

So we start off with Japan's Self-Defense Force recovering Mecha King Ghidorah's body and using the metal parts to create a new anti-Godzilla vehicle, no doubt screwing with the timeline. Think about it, if MKG isn't still in the ocean, it can't be hailed as a hero. Nobody will know what the hell happened in the past and Godzilla will just keep roaming around without any clue how to stop hi- ...eh, it's a Japanese science fiction film. There's bound to be some plot holes. They use the parts and futuristic technology to create Mechagodzilla in hopes that Godzilla will finally be stopped. During some other footage, this one guy is moved from the research lab to the pilots or something and reports to training. His commanding officer doesn't like that one of his hobbies is dinosaurs (pteranodons in particular) and scolds him for it. Que "hilarious" montage.

When some researcher people go to this deserted nuclear wasteland island, they find an egg. They conclude that it's a pteranodon egg and decide to take it back for research. As soon as they do that, Roda- err, Radon appears. He fucks their tents up and then Godzilla just decides to be in the scene. As he and Roda- err, Radon start fighting, the humans get the hell out of there.

With the egg on the mainland the research begins. The humans find that the egg's color changes with it's mood. It mostly turns red, which means the little baby is usually afraid. What a scaredy cat. Actually I don't know why red means afraid, it usually means angry. Anyway soon enough the egg hatches and HOLY SHIT it's Godzilla's kid. Everyone is shocked. But the species thankfully isn't as aggresive and the little tyke is a plant-eater as opposed to a meat-eater. Oh and the scientist girl who was the focus of these scenes gets closer with the pteranodon guy or something.

Godzilla comes along looking for his son but Mechagodzilla is flown to his location. They have a showdown and it seems as if the military has finally won the struggle but all is for not - Godzilla reversed the beams or whatever that Mechagodzilla was shooting at him and now Mechagodzilla has over-charged it's batteries and can't function. Godzilla continues to fuck shit up for a little bit and then returns home.

Some research is done on Baby Godzilla AND...they discover it has two brains and figures Godzilla also has two brains. The second brain apparently controls all the functions and shit so I guess the "head brain" is there for nothing. They conclude that if the second brain is taken out Godzilla will be parylized and can be easily killed. They then force Miki to find out where exactly Godzilla's second brain is and they set out to action...using Junior as bait. Nice.

Roda- err, Radon (who has by now transformed) falls for the bait too when the plan is executed and tries to save Junior, all while Junior and the science lady are in this little box. Rad- you know what? I'm just calling him Rodan. Rodan tries to rip up the little box and get Junior out but then Mechagodzilla fights him and presumably kills him. Godzilla enters the scene and Mechagodzilla gets an upgrade in preparation by combining with this previously obsolete ship piloted by pteranodon guy, becoming SUPER Mechagodzilla. Godzilla is then knocked down and his second brain taken out, and once again, victory seems inevitable. Rodan then gives his energy and spirit to Godzilla or something and Godzilla's second brain comes back. Using a new special attack that he acquired because of the energy given to him, Godzilla destroys Mechagodzilla.

Pteranodon guy reunites with science lady and Junior and science lady gets Miki to tell Godzilla to pay some god damn attention to his boy and take him home. She does, and Godzilla complies. So they go back to the ocean after an "emotional" goodbye by science lady (who had been forming a bond with Junior all this time) and all seems well...until next year when Space Godzilla- oh yeah. Already did that one.

Next time, Godzilla is going into nuclear meltdown and he and Junior team up to take on possibly their most evil enemy of all time. How will they fare against him? Will Japan's military be able to save the world? Find out in the last Heisei movie (but not my last review :D).

This honestly wasn't my favorite Heisei movie. I mean, it's better than other Godzilla films (especially late Showa "classics" such as "Son of Godzilla" and "VS Hedorah") but I think it may have tried too hard to be awesome like the two previous films. I still like it but I think it's the weakest of the second series (out of all the ones I've seen anyway).

Score: 3.0/5.0

Kaiju Reviews #20 - Godzilla vs. Mothra [Written by skull902]

Hey there everyone, it's certainly been a while.

I have a new Blogspot page. Go check it out at:

http://seaprod.blogspot.com/

Now that the shameless plugging has been done, I can get back to doing what I do 5th-best. Reviewing Heisei Godzilla movies in Rabid's place!

Today's review is "Godzilla VS Mothra". You may be asking "Well hasn't that one been reviewed already?", and the answer is: No, you idiot! That was "Mothra VS Godzilla", the 1964 Showa movie. This is "Godzilla VS Mothra", full name being "Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth". It was released in 1992 in Japanese theatres, while being released on VHS here in the US in 1998.

So we begin with Asian Indiana Jones in the Asian Raiders of the Lost Ark, trying to steal an artifact. After defying the same death-defying obstacles pretty much, he succeeds, but is arrested. While in jail, he talks to his ex-wife and some legal guy. He has an offer to leave jail to that he can do some exploring for them. Initially refusing, he finds out he could serve inprisonment for 15-20 years and accepts the deal, whilst whining like a bitch.

The adventure begins as Asian Indiana Jones, Ex-Wife, and Legal Guy travel through the wood-jungle. A bridge breaks, forcing them to jump a...very low fall into the river. Ooh, we're getting dangerous now! While resting for the night, Ex-Wife gives Asian Indiana Jones a letter from their little boy, wishing for his Father to stop stealing...or something similar to that. It's like one of the morals of the movie I think.

The next day, they find a cave with some pretty drawings in it. Then they find a GIANT EGG. Some fairies (who are the Cosmos of the Earth or some shit) tell the three of the epic war between the Earth's guardians Mothra and Battra. Battra got his ass handed to him, and the original Mothra eventually died of lung cancer from smoking too much. The egg belongs to the original Mothra. The three and the two fairies decide to take it back to Japan's mainland to do some research.

Meanwhile, Godzilla woke up from some typhoons or some shit, and I guess he's hungry for some breakfast. Finding the egg and having Battra enter the scene after destroying Nagoya, it's an all-out sea battle between the monsters. Mothra then escapes, going to Infant Island. Godzilla and Battra eventually get sucked into the Earth's crust or something, and sit there to serve their time-outs.

Finding nothing better to do, the Evil Greedy Business Man takes the fairies and makes them live in a doll house. Ex-Wife and Asian Indiana Jones take a flight to Tokyo where they meet up with their- OH MY GOD! Why's their like...6 year old son wearing a dress?! Did they make him do it? This family has some problems. ...Oh. It was their daughter all along. Okay. Asian Indiana Jones then abandons the scene.

There was an earthquake that happened earlier which had a bad effect on the mainland, which was caused by Godzilla and Battra's fighting. The fairies had called upon Mothra, who is on her way while Ex-Wife tries to buy them back from Evil Greedy Man. After being turned down, they're taken back anyway...but by who? DUN DUN DUUUUN! The Japanese Government finds that Mothra is on her way and decides to do the most logical thing they could think of: SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT ALL TO HELL!!! Ex-Wife then goes with her daughter and (gasp) MIKI! We meet again. They go to a hotel after Miki hears the fairies' song where it's revealed Asian Indiana Jones had them. The Cosmos are let free as Mothra enters Japan. Mothra, promising not to be a destructive little asshole, goes and puts herself in a cuccoon to be hatched later. Miki then finds that...Godzilla is back! OH NOEZ!

Mothra and Battra then "grow up" and set out for battle. The Government is scared that all three monsters could meet and wreck the place again, so they set up a defense so Godzilla doesn't get involved. It fails. Battra and Mothra battle at an amusement park or something for a while, and then Godzilla shows up. He kicks the shit out of Battra, killing him.

Mothra and Battra have this really long, really touching moment where she gives him some of her energy so they can team up and save the world while the fairies sing in rejoice about how the two have worked their differences out. Oh, and there's some Godzilla guy too that's somewhat involved but that's not really important. But it is! They fuck Godzilla's shit up then air-lift him to the ocean. Godzilla takes a bite out of Battra on the way though and Battra is dying as they make their way. Battra's life ends just as Godzilla is dropped into the ocean, taking Battra with him. Mothra then pays tribute to Battra and leaves.

The next day, Mothra and the fairies prepare to leave as they warn the public of a devastating meteor which, at it's weight and rate of velocity is set to devastate and destroy Earth in 1999. It was originally Battra's job to go to space and destroy it, but since he's dead and all, Mothra takes his place. After saying goodbye the three head off into space to do their job. Now they need someone else to save the world...OH SHI-

Coming up next, Mecha-Godzilla is created to stop Godzilla and a new little bundle of scaly joy is born. Will Godzilla's reign of terror finally be stopped? Find the fuck out soon, bitches!

Out of all the "Godzilla" movies I've seen or own so far, this one is my absolute favorite. The production of it was rushed after "VS King Ghidorah" became a hit, but that doesn't stop this movie from being fantastic. It's not perfect, but it comes pretty close. I love this movie and would reccommend it to any monster-loving geek out there.

Score: 4.9/5.0

Kaiju Reviews #19 - Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah [Written by skull902]

The Heisei series can wait for one man, but this man it can not! Hi, it's me again. skull902. ...I really gotta make myself one of these Blogspot thingies, they seem nice. Anyway, I've been given the official job of Heisei Godzilla reviews. AIN'T THAT COOL? This is "Godzilla VS King Ghidorah", what I'm considering a remake of the 1964 classic, "Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster". This movie was originally released in Japanese theatres in 1991, then on American DVD/VHS in 1998 (to capitalize on the popularity of something that is so awful I can't even describe it...yet, anyway).

The movie opens with peoplez. From the future. Over-looking the corpse of a certain two- err, three-headed monster who was involved in a lil' scuffle with our old pal Godzilla. They discuss it for a moment until the movie decides to jump to something else.

Some newspaper writer guy gets a phone call from a publisher who wants him to write a story about aliens for the paper. He declines (even though his previous writings have made him a rich man), saying he doesn't write fiction anymore. Wait, seriously? Aliens have been around before! Multiple times! And this guy can't get a fucking clue about- wait, what's that? Different cannon? But that doesn't make- ...oh well.

We jump again to this crazy guy, lecturing the public of a...bus stop I think? About...something and is considered too damn crazy to continue. He's escorted forcefully out of...wherever he made the lecture by security guards. Turns out he and his garrison were saved on Lagos Island in World War II by a dinosaur. Nothing out of the ordinary for a monster film- WAIT. I said "World War II". That was during the 1940s (for the most part)! And Godzilla didn't first appear until 1954! And if "Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla"'s telling of events is correct, then 1954 was the first noted happening of a monster attack! So that means...IT IS OUT OF THE ORDINARY!

After some...stuff, I guess, some "Futurians" (who consist of a guy, a girl, and an android) arrive and are like "We wanna meet the Prime Minister tomorrow." Even though he probably has one of the world's busiest schedules, the Japanese Prime Minister is able to pencil them in for a meeting. Then they have the meeting. With the author guy. The Futurians have a book written by Mr. Author about Godzilla that was published...IN THE FUTURE! Turns out in the future nobody gave a shit about his crappy book. They conclude that getting rid of the dinosaur that would be later affected by nuclear testing would be the solution to getting rid of Godzilla. So the Futurians, the author guy and- OH MY GOD! That psychic chick! Yeah, turns out Miki here is in every movie from "Biollante" until "Destroyah". Anyway, they all go to that fateful day in 1944. They don't bring the crazy guy with them, because two of him in the same place would cause one to be erased from existance...which, in all honesty, doesn't sound like a huge problem.

So they get there and blast by some Americans who are dubbed over even though the actors are speaking English. One of them is Stephen Speilberg, by the way. Or rather, a younger version of him. Anyway, they teleport away Godzillasaurus (...LAME), sending him somewhere else and the one future chick replaces it with three little Dorats unbeknownst to the non-Futurians. Guess who they become? Yeah, the nuclear test on the island still happens.

Anyway, after all that shit's done they get back to 1991 and the future chick bullshits- err, I mean informs the author guy about how in the year 2204 Japan is the largest and richest country in the world. Yay. Then soon enough a monster attack happens and it's King Ghidorah. It was a setup the whole time! Yeah, the future guy wanted King Ghidorah attacking to ruin Japan's ecenomy and therefore affecting it's growth in the future! ...And Godzilla WASN'T doing this in the first place?

So the future chick sneaks in and re-programs the android (who was on future guy's side before) and they team up with the author to stop this travesty. Godzilla apparently was made by some Russians when THEY were testing out their nukes and he kicks Ghidorah's ass, killing him. Hooray the terror's over! Oh no! The terror has begun! Yeah so Godzilla's back. He kills some dudes (including future guy and Mr. Crazy, after Crazy THOUGHT Godzilla was being his friend when they met for a short moment) and the future chick comes up with the idea to go to the future. Why? It's not like they can bring Ghidorah back to li- HOLY SHIT IT'S MECHA-KING GHIDORAH. Shit. Just. Got. REAL!

Godzilla and Mecha-King Ghidorah have an awesome fight and Godzilla is driven back to the sea, presumed dead. The future chick goes back to her time and all seems well. Until it's shown that Godzilla is still alive. Yeah, dawg.

Some say that this movie is one of the best in the whole Godzilla franchise and I certainly agree. It's got a great amount of action and a decent plot, too.

Score: 4.5/5.0

Kaiju Reviews #18 - Terror of Mechagodzilla

Alright, time for the final movie in the Showa series... and more title trivia! In this case, the movie was named Terror of GODZILLA in the US... even though the villain was obviously Mechagodzilla... what the hell was wrong with the people that were titling these things?! But anyway, about 90% of this movie focuses on the human perspective... this is gonna be other shortie, that's for sure. We start off with guys working on a thing that go to a place looking for a doctor because of the recent arrival of a creature known as Titanosaurus, which he supposedly discovered many years ago... but no one believed his theory (despite the fact that you can hardly walk for 2 mins. without seeing a giant monster in these movies), so he decided to become a mad scientist. But, instead of encountering the mad scientist guy, the two reporter people end up meeting his daughter. She's important, BTW... because her mind controls Mechagodzilla. Yeah, you read that right. The alien ape guys teamed up with mad scientist (who's manually controlling Titanosaurus) and put Mechagodzilla's controls in her brain or something. That be wacked up, yo. So yeah, at some point, mad scientist sends Titanosaurus to destroy Tokyo... Godzilla kicks his ass. He runs away. Then like a million years later (or atleast that's what it felt like to me), Titanosaurus and Mechagodzilla team up to destroy the random abandoned country side... because model buildings are expensive to make. Fortunately, Godzilla comes along to save the day... except he didn't bring a partner along. O DAM. Due to being outmatched, Godzilla ends up not doing too well in the fight. Though in a morbid turn of events, mad scientist's daughter ends up killing herself so that Mechagodzilla could no longer function. So yeah, Godzilla ends up destroying him. He also defeats Titanosaurus shortly after, once the army figures out that Titanosaurus is weak against sonics. As a celebration of his victory, Godzilla then goes back to the ocean, taking a much deserved rest... which is fitting, considering that he'll be retired for atleast 10 more years.

Rating:
3-something maybe
I don't know; like Destroy All Monsters, most of this is human stuff... though this is more dramatic and well-written (though that still doesn't keep it from being kind of boring) and the monster scenes, while being pretty compelling, are few and far between. Not bad for what it is, but... yeahhh, he definitely needed that rest big time... and perhaps I deserve a rest from all of this Godzilla stuff, for now. The Heisei series can just wait; it's not going anywhere!