Monday, February 6, 2012

Kaiju Reviews #20 - Godzilla vs. Mothra [Written by skull902]

Hey there everyone, it's certainly been a while.

I have a new Blogspot page. Go check it out at:

Now that the shameless plugging has been done, I can get back to doing what I do 5th-best. Reviewing Heisei Godzilla movies in Rabid's place!

Today's review is "Godzilla VS Mothra". You may be asking "Well hasn't that one been reviewed already?", and the answer is: No, you idiot! That was "Mothra VS Godzilla", the 1964 Showa movie. This is "Godzilla VS Mothra", full name being "Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth". It was released in 1992 in Japanese theatres, while being released on VHS here in the US in 1998.

So we begin with Asian Indiana Jones in the Asian Raiders of the Lost Ark, trying to steal an artifact. After defying the same death-defying obstacles pretty much, he succeeds, but is arrested. While in jail, he talks to his ex-wife and some legal guy. He has an offer to leave jail to that he can do some exploring for them. Initially refusing, he finds out he could serve inprisonment for 15-20 years and accepts the deal, whilst whining like a bitch.

The adventure begins as Asian Indiana Jones, Ex-Wife, and Legal Guy travel through the wood-jungle. A bridge breaks, forcing them to jump a...very low fall into the river. Ooh, we're getting dangerous now! While resting for the night, Ex-Wife gives Asian Indiana Jones a letter from their little boy, wishing for his Father to stop stealing...or something similar to that. It's like one of the morals of the movie I think.

The next day, they find a cave with some pretty drawings in it. Then they find a GIANT EGG. Some fairies (who are the Cosmos of the Earth or some shit) tell the three of the epic war between the Earth's guardians Mothra and Battra. Battra got his ass handed to him, and the original Mothra eventually died of lung cancer from smoking too much. The egg belongs to the original Mothra. The three and the two fairies decide to take it back to Japan's mainland to do some research.

Meanwhile, Godzilla woke up from some typhoons or some shit, and I guess he's hungry for some breakfast. Finding the egg and having Battra enter the scene after destroying Nagoya, it's an all-out sea battle between the monsters. Mothra then escapes, going to Infant Island. Godzilla and Battra eventually get sucked into the Earth's crust or something, and sit there to serve their time-outs.

Finding nothing better to do, the Evil Greedy Business Man takes the fairies and makes them live in a doll house. Ex-Wife and Asian Indiana Jones take a flight to Tokyo where they meet up with their- OH MY GOD! Why's their like...6 year old son wearing a dress?! Did they make him do it? This family has some problems. ...Oh. It was their daughter all along. Okay. Asian Indiana Jones then abandons the scene.

There was an earthquake that happened earlier which had a bad effect on the mainland, which was caused by Godzilla and Battra's fighting. The fairies had called upon Mothra, who is on her way while Ex-Wife tries to buy them back from Evil Greedy Man. After being turned down, they're taken back anyway...but by who? DUN DUN DUUUUN! The Japanese Government finds that Mothra is on her way and decides to do the most logical thing they could think of: SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT ALL TO HELL!!! Ex-Wife then goes with her daughter and (gasp) MIKI! We meet again. They go to a hotel after Miki hears the fairies' song where it's revealed Asian Indiana Jones had them. The Cosmos are let free as Mothra enters Japan. Mothra, promising not to be a destructive little asshole, goes and puts herself in a cuccoon to be hatched later. Miki then finds that...Godzilla is back! OH NOEZ!

Mothra and Battra then "grow up" and set out for battle. The Government is scared that all three monsters could meet and wreck the place again, so they set up a defense so Godzilla doesn't get involved. It fails. Battra and Mothra battle at an amusement park or something for a while, and then Godzilla shows up. He kicks the shit out of Battra, killing him.

Mothra and Battra have this really long, really touching moment where she gives him some of her energy so they can team up and save the world while the fairies sing in rejoice about how the two have worked their differences out. Oh, and there's some Godzilla guy too that's somewhat involved but that's not really important. But it is! They fuck Godzilla's shit up then air-lift him to the ocean. Godzilla takes a bite out of Battra on the way though and Battra is dying as they make their way. Battra's life ends just as Godzilla is dropped into the ocean, taking Battra with him. Mothra then pays tribute to Battra and leaves.

The next day, Mothra and the fairies prepare to leave as they warn the public of a devastating meteor which, at it's weight and rate of velocity is set to devastate and destroy Earth in 1999. It was originally Battra's job to go to space and destroy it, but since he's dead and all, Mothra takes his place. After saying goodbye the three head off into space to do their job. Now they need someone else to save the world...OH SHI-

Coming up next, Mecha-Godzilla is created to stop Godzilla and a new little bundle of scaly joy is born. Will Godzilla's reign of terror finally be stopped? Find the fuck out soon, bitches!

Out of all the "Godzilla" movies I've seen or own so far, this one is my absolute favorite. The production of it was rushed after "VS King Ghidorah" became a hit, but that doesn't stop this movie from being fantastic. It's not perfect, but it comes pretty close. I love this movie and would reccommend it to any monster-loving geek out there.

Score: 4.9/5.0

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